New relationships can be a real delight - but they can bring up some very tough questions for a woman. One of the first questions women ask is "When is it ok to have sex with him?" It's a question we all want an answer to - but the thing is, there is no real answer. What you need to steer clear of are circumstances that allow for many women to be hurt.
There are of course, innumerable situations that women can be hurt in regarding sex, but here are some of the most common reasons women fall into this trap. 1. Somehow you project your feelings onto him, thinking that if it means something to YOU, it MUST mean something to him.
2. You don't tell him what is means to you, you just assume he knows, or you are too squeamish to talk about it with him. 3. Not being sure of exactly WHAT you feel - and you let yourself be pulled along by the heat of the moment, then berate yourself later for giving in. The thing is, there is something wonderful that happens when a man must WAIT to have sex with a woman he is interested in. In doing this, you are forcing him to evaluate his FEELINGS for you and his readiness for a relationship.
Having sex in the beginning of a relationship may just allow him to value you only for that, and not even get IN to the rest of you. He may see you only as a great time, and you will never know otherwise because some people can be very charming when they want something. Sometimes women fall victim to this in the reverse, as well. We feel so connected to a man that we give in and have sex way too early.
We then think that we are in an actual relationship with him because he MUST feel the same way to be this passionate, right? Not necessarily. This is the biggest reason WHY women should wait to have sex until the relationship has been established. Otherwise, a very big chasm may develop between what you THINK is happening with your "relationship" and what HE thinks is happening.
You may think you are in a relationship because you have had sex, but more than likely, HE does not. That leaves you hurt, angry, and possibly alone. On the other hand, if you still want to have sex with him while your relationship is still budding, then take the time to have a discussion with him - one adult to another - about what that means. Make sure you really HAVE a relationship, or define the terminology so that each of you agrees to where you are in your partnership.
If he flips and leaves, then no harm done, right? There are definite benefits to waiting to have sex with a man until your relationship is established. Waiting helps make sure you really do have a relationship to begin with, saving you from hurt, embarrassment, and other complications of sexual relationships that can be much more serious.
Relationship advice - How to Fix Your Relationship by NOT Being His Friend